This year, the fashion world lost one of its most boldly influential editors and stylists: Polly Mellen. She worked at Harper’s Bazaar in 1951 under Diana Vreeland and then at Vogue for 28 years. When I learned that she passed away in December at the age of 100, I went back to one of her most iconic spreads, “The Story of Ohhh…” photographed by Helmut Newton in 1975.
At the time, the unabashedly sexy images of a photographer, his muse, and a mysterious third interloper ruffled some feathers—and today, of course, a stunt like this might get you fired. But it’s hard not to look at these images without feeling…something! Even the copy is erotic, a reminder that sexiness is in the details. Mellen focuses on fragrance, suggesting that you wear a scent “tucked into [your] episternal notch (the little hollow at the base of the throat),” and “accessories for bareness,” or long necklaces that fall in between cleavage. She calls out sensual fabrics like “a sigh of white chiffon” and small styling choices like “the dégagé charm of a neckline left untied.”
All of it feels very adult. It’s not Sabrina Carpenter looking flirty in a vintage Victoria’s Secret teddy or Anora with long nails and a huge fur coat. In fashion today, sexiness can be so surface-level and verge on cliché: T-shirts that look like lace bras and underwear that looks like pants. You can even buy a skirt that literally says “sex” on it. Not only do pieces like this lack real sex appeal, but they can read as coldly commercial and depressingly un-serious. Gazing at Mellen’s spread, I thought, Okay, these people have actually gotten down and dirty. It’s seriously sexy, not va-va-voom.
With so many holiday parties on the calendar and New Year’s Eve around the corner, I’ve been thinking a lot about sexiness and how I’d like to embrace it as an adult woman over 30. Of course, it’s a completely subjective thing: Whatever makes you feel sexy is what will make others feel the same. There is no right or wrong way to do it. But below are some accessory and small detail-related tips that I’m keeping in mind this year and next. I think they’re easier and more universal to implement than, say, a skirt that says “sex” on it. But hey, whatever turns you on.
Wear a Long Cleavage Necklace
Jewelry can be an arrow for where you’d like someone’s gaze to land.
Tiffany & Co. x Elsa Peretti Bean Pendant
This Elsa Peretti Tiffany necklace says: “Eyes down here.”
Sophie Buhai Vessel Necklace
This Sophie Buhai necklace even kind of looks like a vibrator…
Ottolinger Silver Diamond Dip Necklace
And this Ottolinger necklace is literally dripping with diamonds.
Or a Classy Choker
Just avoid looking like you’re wearing something from Claire’s or Delia’s.
Ayllón Maja Choker
Sometimes, all you need is one pearl. (Also good for layering!)
Anna Sui Erickson Beamon Edition Cameo Choker
Or, you can go super old-school.
Phoebe Philo Twisted Scarf
Phoebe Philo has always done adult-sexy right. Her jewelry feels especially S&M-inspired, including this twisted scarf.
Let Opera Gloves Sing
I wore long black opera gloves to a wedding once, and a drunk uncle told me they were bolder than a cowboy hat, which I took as the ultimate compliment.
Norma Kamali Long Gloves
Norma Kamali encourages you to match them with your dress. She even makes a shrug with them ATTACHED.
Shushu/Tong Bow Gloves
You might as well go for something with a little flair, such as bows, or ties and feathers.
Valentino VLogo Signature Tulle Gloves
Or you can opt for something more dainty—but still a little freaky—with Alessandro Michele’s Valentino.
Find a Fragrance That Turns You On
Scents are powerful. I once spent months tracking down a cologne after a very attractive man gave me a neck hug and my pheromones went wild.
Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille Eau de Parfum
Tom Ford basically invented sexy. I don’t smoke, but this perfume makes me feel like I do.
Celina Black Tie Eau de Parfum
If Tom Ford invented sex, Hedi Slimane sold it. My favorite perfume from his time at Celine is Black Tie.
Régime des Fleurs x Chloe Sevigny Little Flower Eau de Parfum
When I want to feel fun and flirty, I channel Chloë Sevigny.
Get Freaky With Feet
There are a lot of freaky shoes out there right now, and not all of them are sexy. But a good one really gets me going.
Phoebe Philo Mary Jane Pump 105
Again, Phoebe Philo knows what she’s doing here with toe cleavage.
Maryam Nassir Zadeh Olympia Wedge
Why not go fully nude?
The Row Velvet Slides
And finally, nothing’s sexier than not trying too hard!
Emilia Petrarca is a Brooklyn-based freelance writer covering fashion and culture. She previously worked at New York Magazine’s The Cut, where she spent five years obsessing over everything from going-out tops to Anna Wintour’s lunch to The RealReal. Her work has since been featured in The New York Times, T Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, and more. She also took *that* video of Larry David at NYFW.
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